Boost Self Confidence with 5 Easy Techniques

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build self confidence today, but the majority just either ignore the issues or concentrate on the negatives: stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Concentrating on these areas drains our self confidence rather than improving it.

If you could improve your self confidence you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with other people.  Below there are five simple techniques that have been proved to help build self confidence today.

1.  Talk to yourself. It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realize it or not.  Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts.

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, advertisement boardings, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from our minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages. We need to hear the positive messages as they will build self confidence today and raise our self esteem.  Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

As an example one of my regular sayings is "I like myself, I like myself, I like myself". I just repeat it for a couple of minutes.  It sounds cheesy, but does build self confidence today – Try it.  I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud "I like myself!" 50 times, it will be impossible to keep from smiling.

2.  Dress as smartly and as classily as you can.  You wont feel at your best if you don't look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best.  It just feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment.  So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self confidence today not next week.  Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair!  A hairdresser once told me "Everyday is show time!"

3.  Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing.  Say "thank you" to yourself to everything you see, all whom you meet, and each smile that you receive.

4. Stand or sit correctly:  How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn't matter, you don't matter.  Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood.  Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5.  Smile. Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile. If you don't think you can try this:

1)Open your eyes as wide as you can – (try and get your eyebrows right up to you hair line)
2)Slightly open your mouth
3)Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears (If your not sure pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers).
4)Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others. This will make you feel happier and with that you'll build self confidence today.

How to Improve your Self Esteem using Simple Techniques

When you're learning about something new, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of relevant information available. This informative article should help you focus on the central points.

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Truthfully, the only difference between you and Self esteem experts is time. If you'll invest a little more time in reading, you'll be that much nearer to expert status when it comes to Self esteem.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

There's a lot to understand about Self esteem. We were able to provide you with some of the facts above, but there is still plenty more to write about in subsequent articles.

A Guide to Inner Wisdom - Make your Life Better

As we look at the pain in the world around us, we see many things we deeply desire to heal and change.    Many of those things seem beyond our ability to influence and change.

There is one thing we can change – our relationship to ourselves.  We can look deep within, moving closer to the truth of who we are.   In doing so, we move beyond the limitations of our personality and the world around us begins to transform.  Radiant joy and love emerge and are contagious.  

Getting to know your Higher Self is a loving and powerful way to move closer toward healing and self-realization.    The Higher Self knows everything about us and sees the bigger picture.  It knows all of our past lives, our dreams, frustrations, relationships, our different personalities, the lessons we are learning, all possible choices, the past and our potential future.  The Higher Self can be a wonderful guide. Just imagine the possibility of seeing everything more clearly, feeling the joy and security of knowing that your choices are taking you toward your highest good!

As we face challenges and move through difficulties, many times we feel lonely, isolated or misunderstood by others.   By getting your Higher Self involved in daily life, you will be able to feel loved, nurtured, and deeply understood.   Your Higher Self is always there for you, in a way that another human being is not able to be.   It is always ready to give you all the attention you need, always loving, has your highest good in mind – guiding you ever closer to unlimited source.

As we grow and evolve we sometimes find that our personality is not enough to support our expanded, abundant Self.    We sense and know the possibility of true prosperous living, but our old patterns of thinking and doing don’t give us the guidance we need to actualize our spiritual ideals and transform our lives. We need a means of finding our way through the day to day reality of living, in a way that supports our Soul’s expansive desires.  The Higher Self is the voice of the Soul.  Creating a “best friend” relationship with your Higher Self can provide immediate and insightful help for the challenges of everyday living.

With our Higher Self as navigator we can deepen relationships with others through Soul to Soul communication.    Previously unsolvable problems and conflicted relationships can be healed and problems resolved.  The love connection between souls transcends all personality differences.  The Higher Self also sees all opportunities for growth, allowing you to utilize your experiences in a more loving and joyful way.

This deep, expansive communion with the Self is one of the most powerful and direct ways to access the Soul’s ability to help you with all of your choices.  The experience is also exquisitely beautiful and profoundly intimate.   More intimate that any human relationship.  Who could possibly know you better and love you more deeply than the being you came through to be on this earth?  

This intimacy with the Higher Self is what so many are seeking in a “Soul Mate”.  The innate longing for completion, to be with your other half, the one that was created for you at the beginning of time, the one you were meant to be with – forever.  That one is your own Soul.  

Imagine for a moment that you are now able to feel, taste, touch and know that wondrous union right here, right now.  At last, here is the endless love you have been seeking which transcends this human existence.   Look deeply into those ancient eyes and see only the truth of love shining back at you and know that this wise one has been with you always.  Your heart opens as you feel the trust that comes from true commitment.  As your heart opens wider, allow yourself to be embraced by this great being of love and bright light.  Feel the strength, beauty, power and love of this ancient one flow through you.  Your own heart knows the truth; you know who this is… your Soul.  

Feel your heart call to this one.  Invite it to flow into your heart, embracing it.   A deep trust and recognition arises as your Soul’s energy fills your heart.  You know this connection is familiar, from the light, from the source.  Secret memories are now remembered.  Ah, warmth and safety at last.   Listen with your heart….your Soul is now speaking.  Words of encouragement…hope…love…gentle soothing phrases drawing you closer.  See how delighted this wise being is to see you, radiating magnificent colors and bright light.  It has been waiting for you, waiting for this union, waiting to merge with you at last.

How long have you been waiting for this moment?  How many times have you joined in this completion?  The years of separateness drift away as you experience the ecstasy of true love.  Rest in the peace of knowing you have come home at last.

To experience your Self in this way is an amazing gift and a great service to our precious planet.  Everyone can learn to turn within and commune with the Self. The rewards can be astonishing.  With practice, the heart continues to open, the healing process quickens, life becomes more joyful and the world around us begins to change.  Intimacy with the true Self purifies the heart allowing you to experience your own true abundant nature.   Discovering pure joy and true happiness need not be difficult.   It takes a only willing heart and practice.

Developing Leadership Skills

Leadership, what is it and what is the difference between being a manager and being a leader? Definitions of leadership, there is not a single definition that everyone agrees on.  Manfred Kets de Vries, a professor at INSEAD, says that leadership is a set of characteristics, behaviour patterns, personality attributes that makes certain individuals more effective in achieving a set goal or objective.

Another way of describing leadership is to say that, to get the best out of people, individuals, teams, organisations, they need to be led, guided, persuaded, motivated, inspired, to be committed, to do their best, to work together to achieve a common objective.  This, rather than the pure management approach of being told, directed, ordered, and treated as subordinates.

True leaders are recognised as being the leader, and their followers accept that they need to be guided by that leader, but they do not feel that they are mere subordinates.  A good example is the captain of a sports team - hockey, baseball, netball, cricket, soccer, football, athletics - these are individuals who have an individual role to play, yet find time and ways to motivate and encourage others to do their best, to use their own individual skills, knowledge and experience (scoring goals, defending, winning races, hitting home runs) whilst at the same time working together as a member of the team to achieve team objectives.

There are other ways of defining leadership, managers perform transactions, and leaders bring about transformations.

The transactional manager influences others by appealing to self-interest, primarily through the exchange of rewards and services.  The relationship between this type of manager and the follower is seen as a series of rational exchanges that enable each to reach their own goals.  Transactional managers supply all the ideas and use rewards as their primary source of power. Followers comply with the leader when it’s in their own interest - the relationship continues as long as the reward is desirable to the follower, and both the manager and the follower see the exchange as a way of achieving their own ends.

The transformational leader inspires followers to not only perform as expected, but to exceed expectations - transformational leaders motivate followers to work for goals that go beyond immediate self-interest, where what is right and good becomes important - these leaders transform the needs, values, preferences and aspirations of followers. They do this so that the interests of the wider group replaces the self-interest of individuals within that group.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alcohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

How to be a Winner at Life: Think like a winner and be a champion

How many times did you hear a true champion speak with doubt? How many times did you hear a boxer say, “It will be a tough fight, we will just have to wait until Saturday and see how it all works out”? Never, because doubt will knock you out before you even begin.

The athletes that are remembered are always those that performed memorably during times of pressure. I say memorably because they could be remembered for choking or rising to the occasion. Anyone who has played competitive sports knows that there is a different feeling during a play-off game, but as with all things in life, that by itself is not a bad thing, it is all in the way you handle it.

People are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them-- Epictetus 200AD

If you let self-doubt enter your mind, anxiety is sure to grow. Once you start to doubt whether you are capable of winning you’re on your way to disaster because the mind can only hold one thought at a time. You are either thinking of winning, and visualizing what winning will be like, or you are worrying about what happens if you don’t win. You can only hold one picture at a time. Sure some athletes waver back and forth, but at any given time you can only be holding one thought.

What the mind sees, feels, and thinks, it works towards. The mind needs to be given direction and then it works towards making that given destination a reality. The mind is constantly working towards results, the trouble is what directions are we giving the mind. When you learn how to control your mind, greatness is achievable. Learning how to think like a winner is the first step towards becoming a winner.

To Become a champion, you must first look and act like a champion. -- Muhammad Ali

Some people say you cannot control what comes into your mind. I believe with the proper training… you can. Regardless of whether or not you can or cannot control what enters your mind, you can definitely control how long you hold any thought that does enter your mind. If a seagull decides to have a bowel movement while flying overhead, you cannot exactly control that… but you sure the heck can control how quickly you clean yourself off.

It is the same with your mind. When a negative thought enters, clean it out with a flood of positive images. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Focus on winning, not on not losing. Begin to daydream, make this daydream the ideal outcome. Not what you will settle for, but what would be perfect.

It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not. -- Denis Waitley

How to be more Confident and Increase Self Esteem in Daily Life

I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.

1. Get To Know Your Values

Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice them and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Trust Yourself

People spend too much time looking for signs that they’re doing the right thing or on the right path. Sometimes we get that by hearing that we’re doing well at work, sometimes it could be encouragement from a friend or loved one, and sometimes we get that feedback by seeing our material wealth or possessions growing.

But rather than looking on the outside for those signs, how about looking on the inside at what you’re telling yourself? How about trusting yourself to do the best thing and make great choices? How about trusting your own insights and using your own intuition? I’ve seen those ideas scare the bejeezus out of people and you know why? Because it makes you accountable and responsible for what you get. If you trust yourself implicitly and you make the wrong choice, you’ve got nobody else to blame.

But the fact is that we all make mistakes and we’ll all continue to make mistakes. So how would it be if you could trust yourself to get through anything and trust yourself to continue making choices that serve you well – even if sometimes you screw up? That’s the kind of trust I’m talking about, and that’s genuine inner confidence.

Start by listening to yourself and noticing what your intuition is telling you. Be aware of that little voice inside you or those gut reactions you get and pay attention to what they’re telling you. Trust yourself to make decisions, trust yourself to adapt and trust that you’re good enough to have, do or be whatever you want. True confidence will follow.

3. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"